Just You and Me in my Chambers courting

Just sitting in my room alone with a silence that seems so comforting.. sometimes its in this place that i feel safe, that I feel nothing can ever harm me or make me feel bad. No words could bring me down or tear me apart, Where its just You and me communing with each other, You teach me stuff and comfort me and help me realise that no matter what happens you're still there for me.. No matter how my faith dwindles Yours stays stable. Sometimes when i'm sitting there in Your presence i just don't wanna leave and go anywhere cos there's the perfect moment right there..

However the real world is still out there, my emotions are still real and people are still people. Despite knowing of your love for me, my heart strays to the past where everything seemed so prefect in my loneliness..my heart tends to give up when negative words are spoken on me, from strength to weakness i stray slowly not even realising it.. Where is that strength You built in me? Where is that women that You have chosen and given so much boldness to? why do words mean so much and relationships affect my tender heart the way it does?

Did you place love and compassion in my heart so it could be tested time and time again? How come when i love my friends and treasure them so much, they literally mean everything to me and one wrong word or action could affect me so deeply. How come when words are spoken they go right deep inside? Especially by the people I adore and treasure..Am i that fragile? did you create me that way for a reason?

Or are my weaknesses overwhelming me to a point i cant see the light? The need to be perfect in everyway is so evident even amongst the people i treasure the most..I wish i could be perfect sometimes but i guess its just not me..so Help plss my One and Only..cos I need you..

Im looking to You for an answer :( here alone with You feeling forlorn in my chambers..

I pray You will make me smile again and restore that strength i once used to have to bring that perfect moment out there to the world again.