What do you want from me???

i mean seriously

• I do everything you want me to even if it doesnt make sense


• and you still find fault with me


• and cause trouble


• arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


• i dont wanna end up like her cos of you


• ppl revere you..and still ur lyk that


• I dont get it..none of it..


• its hurting everytime you say things before thinking

ever felt like youre unappreciated??yeahhh..i mean after everything its like you did nothing..common..you wanna dominate??go ahead im not stopping you..im secure..i dont need all that fame to keep me going..nyhow..alin's principle..just continue loving..i guess ill do that..im not lazy i just don want to be taken advantage of!!! Im tired of feeling hurt and unwanted and used! im over all that..if im doing something its because i Love Jesus and He is the only person im serving..so like Issac (the devil) says..go ahead make my day.

I miss you guys like crazy Theng Shu Ern, Bev, Atiqah, Visha Ponney, Jolyn, Jia, Arthur..we must meet up soon okayy?

An amazing day

24 years ago on this very day Daddy God brought me into this world with a big perfect picture of how my whole entire life was going to be like :) tho sometimes things get difficult i nvr fail to remember that i can only see a small part of that picture while he sees it all.. so everything that i dont understand i just have to trust it in His hands.

The last 24 years have been full of His grace and mercy from one step to another and i would have nvr made it to this point if not for His mercy and grace.. Which brings me to todayy :)

I had the most amazing day full of love and surprises..not at all what i dreamed of, but much more than that..

The kids celebrated my birthday at school..surprised me with the birthday song in 3 languages and an awsome cake :) their love touches my heart..and I've only taught for 2 months? *touched*

Lunch was with athens, Chan and Sohba..Japanese foodd :) amazing, with the awesome new room lamp that im in love with..cant believe they lied to me about renting the car and stuff hehe..anyhow im super touched..btw guys if it was just the card i still would have been overjoyed..thank you so much..im blessed to have friends lyk yall i know i can depend on..

And mummy ur crazy but seriously amazing..flowers to my school? a cake with my pic on it? and 24 ppl calling to wish me and pray for me?omgggg what else ma?I love you and thank you so much..im missing having you around so much..come home soon okayy..

To end the day i had a date with my daddy..we talked(gossipped) hehehhe and ate and daddy bought me a cute pouch for school..super sweet..I love you daddy..i know how busy you are and yet you took the time to take me out and get me a rose from the garden..it all means the world to me and I love you..

Alin, John i miss you guys like crazyy thanks for the wishes and calls it means the world..

The highlight of this years' awesome birthday of cos was the surprise party organized by my sweet darlings..I love you guyz so so much..it was the blastt..

Ending today with my Daddy God..everyone's asleep :)

if i could sum up this day i would simply call it perfect...i have so much to be grateful for and nothing to complain about..im sooo much loved and i love everyone who made me feel loved too.. Im amazed..and I just have to say Daddy God I love you and I thank You for everything you have so graciously blessed me with..my heart is overwhelmed with how much you love me..All I want is to be closer to you..lead me and guide me as I step into another year of my life once again. Let my steps and path glorify you. I love you.

To everyone who went all out to make this day special thank you so much..I love all of you..thanks for the wishes, gifts, surprises and of cos abundance of love..im blessed and touched..I love all of you so much..

I wonder..is my best friend coming back this wk-end..oh well who knows hehehe :)

Going to spend the last hour taking a love break..c yall..

The past few weeks

Im just lying down and i cant sleep haha..thinking of the past few amazing weeks that have gone by so quickly..

The last time i wrote was 2 days before convo and that week-end itself was a blast.

I remember just sitting down quietly while the guest of honour was speaking, thinking omg I would have never made it even half way if it was not the grace of God.

And Thru everything situation God just came thru miraculously. I disntictively remember one day before my semantics paper crying and losing it because of some situation but in the end God just gave me the strength to pull thru and to do exceedingly well :)

Also giving me such wonderful, supportive parents who love me and care for me in every circumstance. I'm so grateful to have finished my degree and come back to a debt free career. All God's mercy and amazing parents who are so responsible. Mummy and Daddy i love yall so so much.

Anyway convo was awesome and the best part was to have my family there right beside me together with all my amazing friends. I think convo was by far the most amazing time i had..all the gifts and pampering hehe..thanks baby girl for coming back..having you around was the best thing for me..muacks..

Buddy thanks for being there too.. meant the world to me..utter crazy fun hehe :)

After convo the weeks passed so quickly with work (which By God's grace im getting used to everyday and amazingly starting to enjoy it) and everything else that i even lost track of time..just the normal everyday routine,

till yesterday..

Oh well the day started perfectly normal..i knew i had a lot to do with John and Chan both not around plus work..i was kinda mentally prepared for it and the day was like is was supposed to be..busy busy busy till finally youth meeting was over and everyone was acting a lil weird..they all left me and went 'back' haha and suddenly Johnny called..

Johnny: "Bud, what if i told you that im back and wanna hang out!"

Crystal: OMGG are you serious??

Johnny: yes yes get your ass to larkin and fetch me noww!!

Crystal: haha okok im coming now :)

And they tricked me all the way to the awesome surprise..I was so shocked and touched..they even composed a song for me smth like

OHHHHH crystaline HAPPY Birthdayy..sooo sweettt :)

All of you who worked so hard to put this together thank you so so much..

Neereta, Hannah, Shan, Derrick, Bryan, Christina, Sam, Chris, Chandru, Johnny, Issac, Gab(s) and Mark thank uuuuu..I love you guysss so so so much..

All of you are a treasure that God has placed in my life for a specific purpose and I really appreciate you guys a lot. Who would have thought that we would be so close like this right?its all God's devine appointment. You guys rock and i dont have to worry about being alone no more cos i know that wen i call ul will be there right?? ( its in the song) hahaah..muacks.. thanks again..

And Neereta, Issac, Johnny and Chan thanks for the wonderful leopard prints top..im lovin it so so much and im gonna rock it more than you know :)

Most of all Lord I thank you for your goodness and faithfullness thru all of it. You have never failed to be there for me in every circumstance and situation and I love You more than anything in this whole world..

Looking forward to an amazing week ahead and im missing mummy who has gone to be with my lil sis in Bandung for her exams :)..got to get some sleep now..promise another update soon :)